In the world but not of the world...

This past year, my Jesuit community here in NYC had to move from their space on the Upper West Side where they had lived for nearly thirty years. Their new location is in a former rectory on Thompson St in Soho. If you know this area, you also know that what was once a fairly industrial part of town has now become a very swanky shopping district, replete with movie stars and models, artists, and wealthy young hipsters. When I cooked for my community a few nights ago, and while shopping at the Whole Foods on Houston, I could not help but feel like I was old and terribly out of shape compared to all of the buff and beautiful young people waiting at the checkout. It was as if everyone practiced yoga, ran marathons, and received fashion consultations on how to look stylish without trying. Besides the fact that I am getting older, could use a diet, and have to face the fact that my idea of "classic" is slightly idiosyncratic, do you know what I am talking about?

There was a time when visiting this very chic part of town and moving amongst these beautiful people would have filled me with a sense of longing, resentment, and frustration... when a restless and unsettled part of my ego would have wanted a piece of all this for myself, and in not attaining it, would have felt this self satisfied superiority-- judging all this as materialism and vanity as a defense against my own dis-ease. Again, can you relate to what I am saying?

These days, however, I am in a very different state of mind and heart, and the quality of the experience of being here for a visit is entirely distinct from the past. For some reason, I feel a grounded sense of my own worth and fullness, while at the same time acknowledging my own tendencies toward vanity and materialism. Because of this, I neither feel so fragmented by longing for what I do not have, nor separate from or superior to all these people on the sidewalks and in the fancy shops and restaurants. It is a curious thing... a kind of inner freedom that feels both down to earth and joyful at the same time. Even if it is a temporary state, it feels like a healthy one to try and cultivate-- to see through the illusions created by advertising and product placement, acknowledging the passing nature of things while at the same time appreciating beauty, art, and aesthetic accomplishment. It is a sort of paradoxical state, if I am not mistaken, but in the spirit of what Jesus taught when we said we should be "in the world, but not of the world."

Does this resonate with you? Please offer your own thoughts and insights...